The Encounter

What can I say... I took this trip because I really felt led to go on it and experience whatever God wanted me to experience. I came with no expectations of what God was going to do. I just came open.. It is hard for me now to even describe all that I encountered there, but now I know that there was a serious purpose in me going..


The first night God spoke so loudly on something that I had to fight against before. It was a certain lie that Satan has been trying to feed me for at least 2 years.. I conquer it, and then randomly Satan will throw me a bone. I never bite, but God blew me away with just releasing a word that has helped me understand exactly what happens when I even look at the bone.. Looking at the bone leads to walking to the bone, and picking it up.. He showed me that even me looking at the bone, has led to some pride in me that I had to get rid of..


What God showed me is that so many of us think that our sins are tiny.. I was looking at the stage that night and the cross was on it, there were some other items on the stage that I could see, but God showed me the corner of the stairs where there was a shadow, and He said this is where you hid those little tiny sins that you don't think about or are aware of.. This is where Satan would throw that bone. Right in the corner in the dark, so I would miss it because it wasn't right in my face.. Then very clearly God said that I have been duped into thinking that my little tiny sins were small and harmless but indeed there are huge.. They are so huge that Jesus was called to die, but not just die a nice peaceful death, but he was called to die a cursed death for those little tiny sins that hide in the corner in the dark.. He had to die a cursed death in order to take the curse away from me.. A death full of suffering. A death that I should of had to take.. But instead Jesus freely and willing took my place. He came down to this cursed world, and became a lowly servant, loved me, then died a cursed death, so that I could be rescued from a cursed death.. So that I could be rescued from a cursed life..
I was stupid in believing that my actions took no part in that, and I repented. God brought me to a whole new revelation of the cross, and what He had to endure for me.. I cried a lot that night..


Then God spoke to me on my destiny.. From the very beginning all I could hear Him say is its time for you to stop being afraid.. Stop thinking you are nobody.. He said you are somebody to me, you are my child.. I have been praying for a few months on something He has pushed me to pray for..  One very early morning I took a run, and I felt led to pray for things that I know was from the Holy Spirit.. It had to do with my name.. I have been praying for God to make me into an entirely new person, including my name.. From the top of my head to the tip of my toes, I want to be made new for Him.. At the encounter they spoke about change. If I change then everything changes.. Everything around me changes if I will only change. They spoke about Jacob, and how he was a liar, and manipulated his circumstances to make him have favor. He stole his brothers birth right, then he stole his brothers double blessing.. He stole this favor, but it left him with nothing. He had to run and hide for his life, and work for his wives. He ended up running and hiding from his brother, and ended up wrestling with God. He wrestled all night, and wouldn't stop until God would bless him. God kept telling me that He can take me and make me into someone new.. He will give me a new name, but I will have to fight, and overcome.. From that moment on Jacob was devoted to God, and God left him with not only a new name, but also a battle wound, a limp.. I am holding on to this promise.. I am holding on to becoming someone new. This weekend has pushed me forward in knowing that whatever God has planned for me, that I can conquer it. This also gave me a revelation of a fear that I had. The fear of being unworthy of all that God has planned for me. God showed me that I had to let that go.. Because He has the power to take nothing (me) and make it into something (Child of God) for His purpose.. He confirmed this again by speaking to me about the cross on Friday night. He said when I look at the cross to look at it as like a wedding ring. The cross was where Jesus poured out His blood, and where His covenant became. Jesus is the groom and He made His covenant with His blood, and that when Jesus died for me, He wants to be in union with me.. And that He wanted to give me a ring because I am the bride.. It is a promise to forever hold me, and keep me, and love me, and cherish me..


Then on Saturday night, I Got my RING! Like literally got a ring!! I was listening to a message about how valuable I am to God.. That even though I ran away, God still had open arms for me when I came back.. I ran back home awhile ago, but when I met with God, I didn't take the ring He wanted to give me.. I took the sandal's for my feet, but I have had this fear of being unworthy of the favor and anointing He has destined to overflow out of my life that I never took His ring.. He said its time for you to take this ring I want to give to you.. When He gave me my ring, I felt so free. He gave me the understanding of the authority and value He has placed on my life.. and that I don't need to be afraid anymore because He loves me sooo much. He loves me like a groom loves His bride.... He has nothing but good planned for me and that its time to start moving forward, and not being afraid..


That was amazing but then it got freakishly awesome.. Because on this Encounter I had total confirmation on why I felt so called to go.. At dinner one of my leaders was talking, and come to find out she lived in the very same tiny small town that I live in now.. But she moved five years ago.. Come to find out, that she has been praying for my town to move in the same direction that God has been leading me and some other people I am in ministry with.. She has been praying for this for years, even longer then I have lived here.. I am in awe, of Gods divine appointments He sets up to just confirm everything He has been speaking into me, and that I have been speaking out.. A divine appointment that made a connection for God to do some amazing work through.


Before I left I got an amazing letter from someone who helped me for the past year.. This letter pretty much summed up everything for me, and maybe one of handful of letters that led me to tears.. Its pretty amazing how God knows what to put on peoples hearts to confirm everything He is speaking to His people..


"Through the weekend I hope you've opened your heart all the way to God an enabled Him to show you who He is, and who He thinks you are"..


Then I realized that my heart was all torn up inside, yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel leading me to a glorious destiny!

They slipped away one by one

I was in worship singing and praising, and I had this vision of the pharisees and the adulterous women. Then I was asked a question by Holy Spirit.. Who do you think that women is going to remember? Jesus or pharisees? Then in the vision I was that women, and I was looking up at Jesus, and I saw the glory around Him. It was this bright light. This was a face this women would never forget. It was a bright light she would never forget, and the memory of those pharisees disappeared out of her mind.

God was revealing something to me about these passages in the bible.. I was having a discussion with a friend a week before this, and I was thinking about these passages and what they meant.. What they mean for us, what they mean for new believers, what they mean for unbelievers.. It is amazing because this vision showed me the progression of what life is like when you grow up surrounded by religious people whether you are a believer or not.. Religious people want to stone the saved, and unsaved.. What life is like when you are a true follower of Jesus.. What life is like when you are saved by Grace, by Jesus!

This women was a sinner. She knew she was a sinner. She knew the consequences of her sin by the Jewish law. She wasn't unaware of it. She was on her way to death at the hands of religious people.. People who had no compassion because they thought they were zealous for the law although they made themselves believe they were zealous of God, but in fact they weren't zealous for God at all.. They honored God with their lips, and not their hearts.

She was at deaths door, and here comes this man named Jesus, who saved her. He rescued her from her own sin. He was quiet, and humble when He approached them. He didn't say anything at first, but then when the pharisees kept demanding answers He convicted them, and He rescued her from death. He saved her from death at the hands of religious people who thought they were better then her.. She had an encounter with His amazing love. He saved her by His Grace.. She looked up at Him, and seen His glory. She experienced His glory! He told her after to sin no more.. He confronted her on it after He saved her.. After He rescued her from death. He didn't condemn her to die like the pharisees did. In the book of Exodus when Moses was talking to the Israelites about going to experience God, and hear Him they said  "Speak to us yourself and we will listen; but let not God speak to us, or we will die." Moses said to the people, "Do not be afraid; for God has come in order to test you, and in order that the fear of Him may remain with you, so that you may not sin.". 

God had already rescued the Israelites from the Egyptians and now He was wanting them to experience Him so they would fear Him, so they would keep themselves Holy. Keeping the law doesn't keep you holy.. Knowing God, and His love is what keeps you Holy. It is what keeps you from sinning. Fear of disappointing someone you love so much will you keep you convicted, it will keep you holy.. The Holy Spirit has the job of that, not us.


The pharisees slowly disappeared one by one out of the sight our Savior. They didn't experience the love, they didn't see the glory, instead they were no longer in the presence of Jesus.. That is what pride does.. It takes you away from His presence. It takes you away from His glory, and His love.. Pride ends in humiliation, while humility brings honor. But he gives us even more grace to stand against such evil desires. As the Scriptures say, "God opposes the proud but favors the humble. 

God favors people who love Him, not people who are proud that think they have it all together..

Through this, I am still thinking about theses scriptures and how we should be as Christians. I want to be like Jesus, not like pharisees. I want people to see Gods Glory in me, and encounter Gods love that pours out of me. I want to be quiet and humble. I don't want to be afraid to encounter people who don't have it all together. I don't want to think I am better then people who are swallowed up in sin, because I know that just one encounter of Gods love is what changes a person. Condemnation doesn't change a person.. When you are condemning someone you are sentencing them to die.. I am not the creator of life. I am not the one who gives life, I am not the one who takes it away either.. I am not the judge of who lives and who dies. Jesus didn't condemn this lady to die, but instead He gave her life..

Pride takes you away from Him.. Pride is evil.. Jesus didn't walk away but it was the pharisees who walked away, they left the presence of God. They slipped away one by one..  Pride leads to destruction, and arrogance to downfall..


 Slipped and Fallen away from God because of Pride..