The Pursuit of Joy

The pursuit of Joy!
I think sometimes we think Joy should just be with us naturally, but the Joy that comes from God isn't natural. Its supernatural. This type of Joy is something that is too be found! We met an awesome but broken man over the weekend. He told me, he lost his Joy.. I was quickened by the Holy Spirit to pray over him.. so I did.. I prayed that he would find that Joy that comes from God, and that He would see God everywhere because that is where you find Joy. I prayed that Joy overflows out of him. You find this Joy when you are in pursuit of God! Its a pursuit of being in the places that He dwells. That is where you find Joy! You find Joy in the realm where God is! You wont find it in this world.. You will never find that type of Joy! You will only find happiness, happiness that disappears when your life doesn't go the way you want it! Then we blame God for the lack of our unhappiness! Yet we forget to realize that God is eternal! The things of Him are eternal, and they last forever! Happiness is of this world is only temporary yet we still blame Him!
Joy lasts forever because you can only find it in God! I pray that in this season if you have no Joy, that you take the steps to pursue God harder than you ever have before! You will find Him! You find everything that He promises to His children, one of them is Joy! "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
Pursue God, Don't Relent!

Milk Is Good, but Solids Are Better

Up in the heavens the moment I was reborn there was a celebration going on for my birth! Jesus came to baptize with the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit brings birth! I was reborn as a baby but in a realm that I cant see, but that is there. There was the birth of me as a spiritual baby in Christ! At that moment God took me into His arms, cradled me, and became my Father! I became a child of God, and I have an inheritance! I have promises of a Father that will never go void! Promises that God will never take a way.. Promises that were given to me by Him, and I trust in those promises!
But to all who believed Him and accepted Him, He gave the right to become children of God. They are reborn—not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God.
As we grow as children of God, we shouldn't stay babies forever. Its just like the natural realm we should be growing, and the only reason why we wouldn't be is if there was something lacking.. I never understood why I would meet these crazy Jesus people but after I started to get spiritual food that fed my soul, I started to flourish and grow in Christ, and become mature. I stopped drinking and craving milk that came from a mother, but instead I had to feed myself, and its not always easy to get spiritual food yourself.. Its far easier for a Christian to continue to drink milk and get fed by a mother, but that will always stunt your growth, and you will never move or grow into the mature person God is calling you to be..
For everyone who partakes only of milk is not accustomed to the word of righteousness, for he is an infant. But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil.

His Temple...

The places God takes me.. I should write a book on The places you will go... with God! Lately  has been da struggle spiritually for me.. But even with this struggle, God takes me to these places with Him because He loves me.. Ive been thinking about His Temple.. And how Perfect and Glorious it will be when all His remnant comes back from being scattered.. The day that He will shake the heavens and earth.. The day when I get to see His scattered return to the temple filled with His glory.. The future glory that will be  greater then its past glory! The day that I I get to be in the perfect and glorious temple of God, that has been built on Him, stone by stone built upon that Rock! We really have been scattered so far and so broad, but He is bringing us back! I'm claiming my healing from Him that one day He will unite us!  "Does anyone remember this house—this Temple—in its former splendor? How, in comparison, does it look to you now? It must seem like nothing at all! I have been so crushed by this scattered-mess.. I have had to work through the bondage of religion because we are scattered..  I know that being apart isn't the end.. Being in unity is the end!

6 “For this is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies says: In just a little while I will again shake the heavens and the earth, the oceans and the dry land. 7 I will shake all the nations, and the treasures of all the nations will be brought to this Temple. I will fill this place with glory, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. 8 The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. 9 The future glory of this Temple will be greater than its past glory, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. And in this place I will bring peace. I, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, have spoken!”

God wants us to rebuild this Temple that is in ruins while we wait for that Glorious day! ⁴ “Why are you living in luxurious houses while my house lies in ruins? ⁵ This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies says: Look at what’s happening to you! ⁶ You have planted much but harvest little.

Rebuilding is hard work! Rebuilding Gods temple should come first! We expect this great harvest, but God tells us that when He doesn't come first, and when you are taken over by sin you end up with harvesting little or nothing..

 Look at what’s happening to you! ⁸ Now go up into the hills, bring down timber, and rebuild my house. Then I will take pleasure in it and be honored, says the Lord. ⁹ You hoped for rich harvests, but they were poor. And when you brought your harvest home, I blew it away. Why? Because my house lies in ruins, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, while all of you are busy building your own fine houses.

In the battle...

I was thinking tonight about how I haven't really been writing lately, and I miss it.. I miss my moments with God and the revelation He pours into me.. I remember those moments thinking I will never get them back, but I know that isn't true. Right now I'm in the battle..

God is so true to His word! When I'm in the battle, all I know is His love, and the mental exhaustion.. But He is true to His word.. He says I will never leave you.. My grace is sufficient! Those things He continues to show me in the fight.. That His Grace is sufficient! This battle is feeling like its taking forever.. and that well maybe I have been fighting long enough.. Like okay God come in and save me now.. God didn't leave me on this earth alone.. He left me with the comforter and counselor..He left His power to win a victorious life.. To run the race to the end.. I am more then a conqueror! I just wish I could not be so fleshly and remember this always. I wish I could just walk around like Jesus all the time, knowing, claiming, and having complete revelation of the Father..

I realize through this battle, that I wish I would just die already! I'm not talking about physically, but I wish that old man in me would seriously croak...

God gave me something to cling to back in May that I have been holding on to and that is that its going to be a really rough ride.. And to hold on to the cross at all moments.. I thought I would of had a few months to kinda just be excited about my transition but Satan was totally on his game.

I started to have a battle inside my own mind.. I have never experienced this type of spiritual warfare and I really shouldn't be surprised but I wasn't ready to say the least. Through this I keep finding Gods grace, love and mercy for me each day. He keeps showing me how much He loves me, but this battle I am ready for it to be won already..

Two weeks ago was probably one of the worst weeks so far.. I know that God is bigger then my own heart. He is bigger then me condemning myself. He is bigger then my battle. He knows the end of it. He knows how long it will last. He knows the good He will work from it, because I do love Him.

Because God is that good, He has been working some on some of the old man inside of me to come out. He will clean that out of me.. He will produce more endurance in me, through long suffering..

I just want that old man to die.. I want to let it go, and never look back.. I want to come back into focus with Him, so that my own mind stops distracting me.. Before, I would always retreat.. You might of notice I would of went off grid, but this time He said don't retreat..

So that is what I will do. I will anchor down and stand in the waves...

Do you believe in the power of Holy Spirit? The Power of God!

Do you believe in the power of God?

I have come into this word "blasphemy" so many times, and it actually scared me because when I come across the scripture that says "but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven, either in this world or in the world to come." I have never had any insight or revelation on it until today..

When I think of that word, I think of cursing..

When you speak against or curse the holy spirit, you are really speaking against or cursing the power of God because the Holy Spirit is where you receive power.. "but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you Holy..

Jesus was so on it.. Those religious folks wanted to say that His power was from Satan, or demonic powers.. But Jesus said "if I am casting out demons by the Spirit of God, then the Kingdom of God has arrived among you"

Jesus even said anyone "Anyone who isn’t with me opposes me, and anyone who isn’t working with me is actually working against me"

Are you working with Him or against Him? And I'm talking to all those legalistic folks. The power that lives in you is the same power that raised Jesus from the dead.. Its the same power that gives you life.. Its the same power that opened the eyes of your heart? The same power that took the veil away from you eyes.. If you believe that the holy spirit lives inside you, then how you can believe yet stand against..

I think that "we all" think we are not standing against it but if you are not using the power God gave you, then you aren't working with Jesus in His strength.. You are doing all the work.. We know what happens when we do the work..Your work leads to pride..

 Some of you have become arrogant, thinking I will not visit you again. But I will come—and soon—if the Lord lets me, and then I’ll find out whether these arrogant people just give pretentious speeches or whether they really have God’s power. For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God’s power. Which do you choose? Should I come with a rod to punish you, or should I come with love and a gentle spirit?

Do you really have Gods power, and if so are you working for Christ and not against Him ? Do you let Gods power move inside of you? Do you let Gods power move inside your church?

What made me really dig deeper that the Kingdom of God, isn't just talk.. Its living by His Power.. To keep your eyes set on kingdom things, and to really work for the kingdom means you have to live by the Holy Spirit. You have to let Him move and do the work..

The Encounter

What can I say... I took this trip because I really felt led to go on it and experience whatever God wanted me to experience. I came with no expectations of what God was going to do. I just came open.. It is hard for me now to even describe all that I encountered there, but now I know that there was a serious purpose in me going..


The first night God spoke so loudly on something that I had to fight against before. It was a certain lie that Satan has been trying to feed me for at least 2 years.. I conquer it, and then randomly Satan will throw me a bone. I never bite, but God blew me away with just releasing a word that has helped me understand exactly what happens when I even look at the bone.. Looking at the bone leads to walking to the bone, and picking it up.. He showed me that even me looking at the bone, has led to some pride in me that I had to get rid of..


What God showed me is that so many of us think that our sins are tiny.. I was looking at the stage that night and the cross was on it, there were some other items on the stage that I could see, but God showed me the corner of the stairs where there was a shadow, and He said this is where you hid those little tiny sins that you don't think about or are aware of.. This is where Satan would throw that bone. Right in the corner in the dark, so I would miss it because it wasn't right in my face.. Then very clearly God said that I have been duped into thinking that my little tiny sins were small and harmless but indeed there are huge.. They are so huge that Jesus was called to die, but not just die a nice peaceful death, but he was called to die a cursed death for those little tiny sins that hide in the corner in the dark.. He had to die a cursed death in order to take the curse away from me.. A death full of suffering. A death that I should of had to take.. But instead Jesus freely and willing took my place. He came down to this cursed world, and became a lowly servant, loved me, then died a cursed death, so that I could be rescued from a cursed death.. So that I could be rescued from a cursed life..
I was stupid in believing that my actions took no part in that, and I repented. God brought me to a whole new revelation of the cross, and what He had to endure for me.. I cried a lot that night..


Then God spoke to me on my destiny.. From the very beginning all I could hear Him say is its time for you to stop being afraid.. Stop thinking you are nobody.. He said you are somebody to me, you are my child.. I have been praying for a few months on something He has pushed me to pray for..  One very early morning I took a run, and I felt led to pray for things that I know was from the Holy Spirit.. It had to do with my name.. I have been praying for God to make me into an entirely new person, including my name.. From the top of my head to the tip of my toes, I want to be made new for Him.. At the encounter they spoke about change. If I change then everything changes.. Everything around me changes if I will only change. They spoke about Jacob, and how he was a liar, and manipulated his circumstances to make him have favor. He stole his brothers birth right, then he stole his brothers double blessing.. He stole this favor, but it left him with nothing. He had to run and hide for his life, and work for his wives. He ended up running and hiding from his brother, and ended up wrestling with God. He wrestled all night, and wouldn't stop until God would bless him. God kept telling me that He can take me and make me into someone new.. He will give me a new name, but I will have to fight, and overcome.. From that moment on Jacob was devoted to God, and God left him with not only a new name, but also a battle wound, a limp.. I am holding on to this promise.. I am holding on to becoming someone new. This weekend has pushed me forward in knowing that whatever God has planned for me, that I can conquer it. This also gave me a revelation of a fear that I had. The fear of being unworthy of all that God has planned for me. God showed me that I had to let that go.. Because He has the power to take nothing (me) and make it into something (Child of God) for His purpose.. He confirmed this again by speaking to me about the cross on Friday night. He said when I look at the cross to look at it as like a wedding ring. The cross was where Jesus poured out His blood, and where His covenant became. Jesus is the groom and He made His covenant with His blood, and that when Jesus died for me, He wants to be in union with me.. And that He wanted to give me a ring because I am the bride.. It is a promise to forever hold me, and keep me, and love me, and cherish me..


Then on Saturday night, I Got my RING! Like literally got a ring!! I was listening to a message about how valuable I am to God.. That even though I ran away, God still had open arms for me when I came back.. I ran back home awhile ago, but when I met with God, I didn't take the ring He wanted to give me.. I took the sandal's for my feet, but I have had this fear of being unworthy of the favor and anointing He has destined to overflow out of my life that I never took His ring.. He said its time for you to take this ring I want to give to you.. When He gave me my ring, I felt so free. He gave me the understanding of the authority and value He has placed on my life.. and that I don't need to be afraid anymore because He loves me sooo much. He loves me like a groom loves His bride.... He has nothing but good planned for me and that its time to start moving forward, and not being afraid..


That was amazing but then it got freakishly awesome.. Because on this Encounter I had total confirmation on why I felt so called to go.. At dinner one of my leaders was talking, and come to find out she lived in the very same tiny small town that I live in now.. But she moved five years ago.. Come to find out, that she has been praying for my town to move in the same direction that God has been leading me and some other people I am in ministry with.. She has been praying for this for years, even longer then I have lived here.. I am in awe, of Gods divine appointments He sets up to just confirm everything He has been speaking into me, and that I have been speaking out.. A divine appointment that made a connection for God to do some amazing work through.


Before I left I got an amazing letter from someone who helped me for the past year.. This letter pretty much summed up everything for me, and maybe one of handful of letters that led me to tears.. Its pretty amazing how God knows what to put on peoples hearts to confirm everything He is speaking to His people..


"Through the weekend I hope you've opened your heart all the way to God an enabled Him to show you who He is, and who He thinks you are"..


Then I realized that my heart was all torn up inside, yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel leading me to a glorious destiny!

They slipped away one by one

I was in worship singing and praising, and I had this vision of the pharisees and the adulterous women. Then I was asked a question by Holy Spirit.. Who do you think that women is going to remember? Jesus or pharisees? Then in the vision I was that women, and I was looking up at Jesus, and I saw the glory around Him. It was this bright light. This was a face this women would never forget. It was a bright light she would never forget, and the memory of those pharisees disappeared out of her mind.

God was revealing something to me about these passages in the bible.. I was having a discussion with a friend a week before this, and I was thinking about these passages and what they meant.. What they mean for us, what they mean for new believers, what they mean for unbelievers.. It is amazing because this vision showed me the progression of what life is like when you grow up surrounded by religious people whether you are a believer or not.. Religious people want to stone the saved, and unsaved.. What life is like when you are a true follower of Jesus.. What life is like when you are saved by Grace, by Jesus!

This women was a sinner. She knew she was a sinner. She knew the consequences of her sin by the Jewish law. She wasn't unaware of it. She was on her way to death at the hands of religious people.. People who had no compassion because they thought they were zealous for the law although they made themselves believe they were zealous of God, but in fact they weren't zealous for God at all.. They honored God with their lips, and not their hearts.

She was at deaths door, and here comes this man named Jesus, who saved her. He rescued her from her own sin. He was quiet, and humble when He approached them. He didn't say anything at first, but then when the pharisees kept demanding answers He convicted them, and He rescued her from death. He saved her from death at the hands of religious people who thought they were better then her.. She had an encounter with His amazing love. He saved her by His Grace.. She looked up at Him, and seen His glory. She experienced His glory! He told her after to sin no more.. He confronted her on it after He saved her.. After He rescued her from death. He didn't condemn her to die like the pharisees did. In the book of Exodus when Moses was talking to the Israelites about going to experience God, and hear Him they said  "Speak to us yourself and we will listen; but let not God speak to us, or we will die." Moses said to the people, "Do not be afraid; for God has come in order to test you, and in order that the fear of Him may remain with you, so that you may not sin.". 

God had already rescued the Israelites from the Egyptians and now He was wanting them to experience Him so they would fear Him, so they would keep themselves Holy. Keeping the law doesn't keep you holy.. Knowing God, and His love is what keeps you Holy. It is what keeps you from sinning. Fear of disappointing someone you love so much will you keep you convicted, it will keep you holy.. The Holy Spirit has the job of that, not us.


The pharisees slowly disappeared one by one out of the sight our Savior. They didn't experience the love, they didn't see the glory, instead they were no longer in the presence of Jesus.. That is what pride does.. It takes you away from His presence. It takes you away from His glory, and His love.. Pride ends in humiliation, while humility brings honor. But he gives us even more grace to stand against such evil desires. As the Scriptures say, "God opposes the proud but favors the humble. 

God favors people who love Him, not people who are proud that think they have it all together..

Through this, I am still thinking about theses scriptures and how we should be as Christians. I want to be like Jesus, not like pharisees. I want people to see Gods Glory in me, and encounter Gods love that pours out of me. I want to be quiet and humble. I don't want to be afraid to encounter people who don't have it all together. I don't want to think I am better then people who are swallowed up in sin, because I know that just one encounter of Gods love is what changes a person. Condemnation doesn't change a person.. When you are condemning someone you are sentencing them to die.. I am not the creator of life. I am not the one who gives life, I am not the one who takes it away either.. I am not the judge of who lives and who dies. Jesus didn't condemn this lady to die, but instead He gave her life..

Pride takes you away from Him.. Pride is evil.. Jesus didn't walk away but it was the pharisees who walked away, they left the presence of God. They slipped away one by one..  Pride leads to destruction, and arrogance to downfall..


 Slipped and Fallen away from God because of Pride..

Do you have faith in your mustard seed?

Sunday I woke up in this weird mood. I was actually debating on skipping church... But I said I know God has something to tell me, so I went.. It was a great service but I was still in this weird mood.. I just felt like crying, and really, for no reason..

Sometimes the Spirit brings laughter, but sometimes He brings weeping.. God brings me into these places with Him, and sometimes its not an instant download of revelation. He gives me piece by piece, sometimes it takes a few minutes, sometimes a few hours, some a few days, and sometimes years..

This started last Saturday.. I was watching a sermon online, and then the next day my pastor spoke almost to the tee the same message. I was wow.. God is speaking to me, but what is He trying to tell me.. Where is He bringing me.. He doesn't bring you into these places just for the fun of fit. Its for Him, and His purposes..  Throughout the week that led up to this past Sunday I was thinking about faith.. Sunday before church I read Romans 8.. The life in the Spirit.. What does that mean? What does that look like?.. I took a shower and was praying and God reminded me of a dream I had at least six months ago.. This dream was for a purpose.. It was to show me something, and to teach me something about God.. I feel so greatfull that God took me into His realm of revealing something to me like this, so I can understand more of Him and more about who He is.. He showed me what it looks like when someone believes in Jesus and has faith.. When a person is re-born with the spirit.. When they become dead to themselves but alive in the Spirit. When a person becomes a new creation!!

In this dream I could hear the breath of God.. I could hear His Spirit giving life to this person.. This person was dead before, but God blew on Him, and He received His Spirit, which led to this person becoming alive in Christ.. Alive only because the Spirit lived in him..

¹¹ The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you.

This person who now was alive was also preaching at a church in my dream. This person who was re-born didn't act as if he was dead after He received Gods spirit.. He said that before he was living this life of sin, that he didn't want to let go of and he couldn't breath at all, but then when he let go of his sin, he became alive, and that he could now breath.. Because he was alive.\ 

With Gods amazing love, full of grace, and mercy who gives us life.. Who breaths in us and pours His spirit on us.. Why oh why do we act like we are alive without Him.. We walk around with these vessels that hold the "Holy" spirit and we are useless vessels because we let our mind control us, and not let the spirit control us.. 

He is raising up His army.. An army that doesn't let their mind control them.. But instead gives over everything to Him, so that instead the spirit controls the mind..What does a battalion do when their leader commands..They listen.. They face the battle even if it means death..He is raising up warriors to be His army that lives by His Spirit..

I want that.. I want to be His warrior.. I want nothing more then to be an empty vessel only filled with His Spirit, that lives by His Spirit.. I want my faith to be more then just a mustard seed. I want my faith in Jesus to be a seed that sprouts, and grows, and ends up being the biggest tree that has birds living in it, and making their home in it.. 

Jesus said all you need is a mustard seed of faith.. and with it everything is possible.. Thank you Jesus for starting out small in us.. But I am ready to grow. I want to sprout, and grow branches.. I want to live my life by the spirit. I want to walk like you walked, and see what you see.. I want more and more faith because it is faith that brings Glory To The Father.. That is it. Faith alone is what pleases Him. Faith alone is what glorifies Him.. Faith alone is what saves you.. Faith alone is what gave you His Spirit.. Faith alone is what gave you birth..

So I ask you.. Do you have faith in your mustard seed? Do you really have faith in it? We talk so much about having faith like a mustard seed, but if you were put to the test could you find your mustard seed.?. Sometimes its hard trying to dig it out.. Sometimes its like trying to find a needle in a haystack. 

My mustard seed of faith isnt just faith in what ever I am trying to accomplish.. It is my faith in God.. It is the question that brings God Glory.. Do I have a tiny seed of faith in God, that I cant find sometimes, or is my faith in God easily found.. I dont want to dig to find this seed.. I want it to be on the surface where I can see it. Where I can climb it, Where I can put a hammock in it and rest.. Rest in Trusting in God alone..

Fear and Love!~The true Gospel

Fear and Love....

How can God love you as much as people tell you He does when all you have been taught is fear Him, and fear His wrath, and judgement? Fire and Brimstone.. Or How do you live under this umbrella of grace when some people teach you to live with "super grace"?

I have met people who live under both.. and its sad.. I think its more sad for the people who have been taught to fear God with an unhealthy expectation of how He corrects His children.. Because these people are teaching so much about judgement and hell, that they forget to teach about Gods love, and the way He corrects. He is the perfect judge, with perfect justice, and nothing but a loving, gentle  correction for His children who love Him.. These people never walk in His true freedom and grace because they feel so much condemnation for making the bad choices, and mistakes... They can never reach true freedom with repentance because they are so afraid of His wrath.. They will never reach the full potential of what God has created for their lives because they are so controlled with mans teachings about fearing the Lord.. This sends people to hell because there is no movement in the church except through judgement and judgement doesn't win people to Christ..

 On the other hand people who teach super grace are watering down the gospel and sending people to hell.. They teach this superficial grace of God, that these people walk in their own freedom, not Gods freedom.. They are still living a life of the old.. They are not living in the new creation God has intended for them. They are living on the fence with one foot in and one foot out, and the fence belongs to Satan...


The true Gospel is that ...


God wants you to love Him so much that when you come into these revelations of His amazing love, and grace that you do fear Him because you know His love so well. A true taste of Gods love is something that is like nothing you have ever tasted before. Its true love, unfailing love, full of compassion, mercy and grace. That you are so awe-mazed at His love that you understand how to fear Him correctly..You never want to be out from under this amazing love because you know how mighty, and powerful God is. You know how just He is. You know He is a holy God and you are called to be His Holy people.. You are so consumed with His love, that you desire His love, and you are so passionate for His consuming fire that all you want is to be purified and holy for Him.. You are sold out for Jesus! You take every thought captive and release it back to God to take care of, and move on living with a clear conscious..

When you are so on fire for God, and He purifies you with His fire, that you become the fire.. You want nothing but to be consumed by His fire, that burns the chaff from wheat.. He doesn't just burn the chaff from the wheat inside of your soul through sanctification, He then fills in those places with His holy oil, and living water.. He fills in those gaps with His blood, and the purest gold..

Jesus came to the world and left two commandments..

³⁷ Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.

Do you really love God?? This will solve every problem you ever come into.. This will solve every struggle, trial, and test you are put through.. Do you really love God?  God doesn't just want you to obey Him, He wants you to love Him first! Without you loving Him, you following His rules means nothing and is done through your own strength.. And if you really really truly love Him you will obey Him..You will want nothing more then to be purified for Him.. He gave you His perfect Love through Jesus Christ, and if you really love Him, you will try to give Him your best perfect love back through becoming holy.. Then you will really be able to love people, like how God loves people.. If you want to really know who God is, if you want to really encounter Gods love, if you want to really know how to fear God.. Then pray and read your bible with only the Holy Spirit to guide you and teach you truth..
 
The true Gospel is not complicated. It is not hard.. Man has created this complicated gospel to follow and its a problem...Its leaving people broken and lost..

Do you believe in God's Glory??

Listen!! Hear this word!!

Didn't I tell you that you would see Gods Glory if you believe?..

Earlier Jesus told Martha that her brother Lazarus would rise and live again because he died from sickness. Then Jesus told her he would live even after dying, and anyone who believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this Martha?. She says Yes, Lord. I have always believed you are the Messiah, The Son of God, and the one who has come into the world from God.

But not long after, they arrive at the tomb of Lazarus, and Jesus tells them to roll the stone away from the grave.. And Martha says but Lord, he has been dead for four days. The smell will be terrible.
Jesus rebuked her and said Didn't I tell you that you would see Gods Glory IF you believe?

Do you hear what I am saying about His Glory! If I believe in His son, and in His Glory, I can see it!.. The promise is that IF I believe then I can see His Glory.. I am a total believer in His Glory. I have not only seen His Glory, But I have also felt His Glory.. My mustard seed of faith has shown me many miraculous works from God. I have felt the heat from His Fire. I have heard His voice. I have had all these amazing encounters with the Glory of God.. Dead things in me have been brought back to life!! I testify to the power of God's Glory! I am a witness!!

Then Jesus arrives in Bethany and all the people who heard of about Lazarus being brought back from the dead, flock to Jesus.. And flock to see Lazarus.. But because of God's Glory the religious leaders want to kill Lazarus  and because of Gods Glory people deserted their traditions, deserted their dead faith, and deserted those religious leaders who don't believe in the Glory of God,

and they believed in Jesus instead..

And guess what!! With or without your belief, Gods Glory will be poured out!! "Then a voice spoke from heaven , saying. I have already brought glory to my name, and I will do so again".  It is poured out like a cloud covering this entire earth.. There is no gap in His Glory. His cloud is so thick nothing can penetrate it.

Guess what?? Unbelievers, True Jesus believers, and you religious people, His name and His Glory will be proclaimed all over this earth!! It doesn't matter IF you believe! God is bringing glory to His name constantly.. Even the stones worship God and are a witness to His Glory! "I tell you," he replied, "if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out. 

It doesn't matter how much people fight God, It doesn't matter how much you indoctrinate people with your traditions, it doesn't matter if you believe, it doesn't matter how skeptical you are.. His Glory is here! You can see it! IF you believe!!

Pray for belief! Pray for Jesus to help you overcome your unbelief!!

"What do you mean, 'If I can'?" Jesus asked. "Anything is possible if a person believes." The father instantly cried out, "I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!"

Time and Death...

Two weeks ago, I ran my first race in over a year.. I said no pressure to myself.. This is just going to be fun, but once I heard that gun go off, something in me turned into steam engine.. My engine started to steam and I was running like a 7 minute pace trying to keep up with these crazy runners, and my body was like um excuse me,, you have no more steam to pump this body so lets slow down.. So I slowed down, and I ran that 2 miles feeling the pressure of trying to keep up.. 1.5 miles in I could hear someone behind me, which is seriously annoying if you are a runner. There is this thing inside you that doesn't want that person to out run you.. But this lady looked like she was pacing herself and doing great, and I on the other hand was trying to not walk.. And she over took me.. She came in 20 seconds in front of me.. This was a tiny race, so you never know if I would get an award, but this lady that came in front of me received a medal and I said to myself..

"Well next year, she will be one year older".. and then it hit me.. Crap!! SO WILL I!!

I have been thinking about that since then.. I cant escape time.. and you cant either.. Time is the same for me as it is for you.. We both live with time.. It sets up all types of expectations and standards..Time controls us because the more time that goes by the more you age.. The more you age, the closer you get to death.. Which is something you nor I can escape either..

We live this life like we are not living with time... It is something that we are always look at, but yet we act like it doesn't even exist.. and then I started to read Ecclesiastes this week.. and I'm like wow..

 ² The same destiny ultimately awaits everyone, whether righteous or wicked, good or bad, ceremonially clean or unclean, religious or irreligious. Good people receive the same treatment as sinners, and people who make promises to God are treated like people who don’t.³ It seems so wrong that everyone under the sun suffers the same fate. Already twisted by evil, people choose their own mad course, for they have no hope. There is nothing ahead but death anyway. ⁴ There is hope only for the living.

When I read the book of Ecclesiastes, is doesn't make me sad.. It makes me think! How do I want to live the rest of my time here on earth.. Time affects me but it doesn't control me, but for some death and time controls how you live your life, but for me death doesn't control me because I have hope.. There is only hope for the living

And then I get to this passage.. They just speak to me on the weakness of life here on this earth, but more importantly how you should live your life now while at the same time looking in your future..

12 Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and say, “Life is not pleasant anymore.” ² Remember him before the light of the sun, moon, and stars is dim to your old eyes, and rain clouds continually darken your sky. ³ Remember him before your legs—the guards of your house—start to tremble; and before your shoulders—the strong men—stoop. Remember him before your teeth—your few remaining servants—stop grinding; and before your eyes—the women looking through the windows—see dimly.

⁴ Remember him before the door to life’s opportunities is closed and the sound of work fades. Now you rise at the first chirping of the birds, but then all their sounds will grow faint.
⁵ Remember him before you become fearful of falling and worry about danger in the streets; before your hair turns white like an almond tree in bloom, and you drag along without energy like a dying grasshopper, and the caperberry no longer inspires sexual desire. Remember him before you near the grave, your everlasting home, when the mourners will weep at your funeral.
⁶ Yes, remember your Creator now while you are young, before the silver cord of life snaps and the golden bowl is broken. Don’t wait until the water jar is smashed at the spring and the pulley is broken at the well. ⁷ For then the dust will return to the earth, and the spirit will return to God who gave it.

We may have nothing in common with each other, but these two things are something that are in common with us.. I pray that you have and live with the same hope that I have.. The blessed Hope.. The Eternal Hope.. The Everlasting Hope.. Jesus is my Hope..


¹⁶ “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.

Its not about being fake.. Its about doing everything without complaining..

Its not about being fake.. Its about doing everything without complaining.. 

And right now I'm going to complain about the complainers.. ;)

This a word for my brothers and sisters, and myself even.. I noticed alot, that there are many who I see constantly post about the things wrong in this world.. About the things we all could really complain about, and don't agree with.. This isn't about hiding the things going on in the world, instead this is a call to take that wasted energy you use on complaining and put it into something that will actually matter.. Talk is cheap, Action is better..

Instead of complaining about the things that are wrong in the world, instead rejoice and proclaim Jesus's glorious name and message... 

I was thinking about our world and all the seeds that Satan plants..

²⁴ Here is another story Jesus told: “The Kingdom of Heaven is like a farmer who planted good seed in his field. ²⁵ But that night as the workers slept, his enemy came and planted weeds among the wheat, then slipped away. ²⁶ When the crop began to grow and produce grain, the weeds also grew.

 Satan plants enough bad seeds in the world, we shouldn't keep adding to it.. The tongue can bring death or life;those who love to talk will reap the consequences.

You reap what you sow... Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. ⁵ For we are each responsible for our own conduct.

So how many bad seeds have you planted by complaining and speaking death over circumstances, and situations you have no control over that are happening in this world? You are just helping Satan do his work, and you don't even realize it.. 

Instead do Jesus's business like usual!! That means even though you see/hear all these bad, sinful,  and crazy things happening.. DON'T FOCUS ON THAT.. Instead do Jesus's business like normal.. (Don't misunderstand me).. I am not saying that if you see or hear something that you can actually help or be productive in, then of course do it.. I'm talking about all my complainers who love to just focus on all the bad things.. Who constantly post about all the bad things..Who are in the church and all you see is them complain about the things they see wrong.. Who I never hear speak a word of Jesus and His awesomeness who I know are Christians.. Yea, those people!

¹⁴ Do everything without complaining and arguing, ¹⁵ so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. ¹⁶ Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ’s return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless.

The lonely

I want to speak to the lonely because I sometimes feel as though I am one of them.. I grew up as a lonely child.. Its really strange for me to say that since I have five siblings.. But sometimes when you are a child of many you are just as lonely as an only child.. I have been thinking about these little funks I get into and I am wondering if it stems back from being an lonely child.. Its very weird because I am not really an introvert. I actually love being an extrovert, but I am an internal extrovert. I find myself feeling lonely even though I am surrounded by many people. I take these moments to just reach inside internally and pinpoint these feelings I have that I cant quite articulate.. Even now I cant quite explain why I find myself to feel lonely. I sometimes look at people and they all seem to just fit into these groups of people who think alike, dress alike, and act alike.. and I don't fit.. I find myself thinking maybe that is because I grew up not fitting in with anyone.. I wasn't part of any particular group during childhood and even my youth years. I did have one best friend who I still have today, but she wasn't in school with me..

Today I came home from church.. It was amazing, and the people are amazing.. but I still found myself in this odd place of loneliness.. and I talk to God and know that He is the only one true friend I have.. He knows me, and I fit in His group.. He speaks to my lonely heart and constantly reminds me that I am not lonely.. He lives inside me, and we are one.. Its my hope and strength of being okay feeling alone at those times because if its just God and I, then that is all I really need. I can conquer and claim those feelings and cast them aside..

God always calls me closer when I feel lonely.. He is always saying draw nearer to me.. When He does that, and I listen.. Those lonely feelings disappear.. He is always showing me His perfect love towards me, that gets me out my little funks.. The lonely just want to be loved and accepted.. And God wants to love the lonely and He accepts us before we even accept Him..

Last night I was at a praise alive worship gathering and there was a word given out, and I just laughed because He is speaking to His people.. Then God showed me something again while in worship.. Focus, Focus, Focus.. I had an insanely busy week, and I missed two days of just really being in His word, and God said to me focus.. I had time to get on all my favorite websites throughout those busy days, but I didn't stop and sit down and just focus..  Focus on His word, Focus on His love, Focus on His heart, Focus on His healing refuge..

He needs to be our focus, and really consume our thoughts because just two simple days without Him had me feeling lonely today.. That is all it takes.. These are the distractions in the world to keep you away from your healing, and from seeking Him and being underneath His wings.. My favorite places our those secret places that God takes me. I desire them, and they consume me.. He takes me into those places when I am fully devoted to Him, fully focused on Him..

Last night I was thinking about those two days that I was distracted and I prayed for something I actually didn't really want to pray for.. Broken places bring me to my knees.. I want to be broken enough where I am always desiring God, and being under His wing, but not so broken where I am broken hearted. I know those places take discipline, and control, and this would be my only prayer of control is to make me OCD in those areas.. To always be living in you, not a step to right or a step to the left.. But always in your shadows..

 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.. Proverbs 3:6

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77cwl530Ngg&list=RDsY0Vz8fvIhE&index=18#

And after the fire came a gentle whisper!!

I think I'm in a good place to finally write this out now.. I have been in such a place of joy and freedom.. It is really hard to describe, but if any of you have ever had a breakthrough you understand that release..

Tonight I read about this word Ba'al-Perazim.. And after I looked it up, I'm like hahaha.. Wow because this was used in Samuel and Chronicles after David beat Goliath..

Baal-perazim means Lord of breaking through or  Baal-perazim means lord of bursting through..

And throughout my past few months God has been using David, and Elijah to speak to me through.. But tonight I was thinking about the schedule of events that took place, and I think because I was in such a place of broken-ness I had to take God presence day-by-day and soak it in without even putting together how awesome He is and how He makes it all fit together.. 

1. Totally broken down crying out to God 
2. Called me to a 40 day sabbatical
3. God spoke to me through a song and Moses about waiting because He is worth it.. (Moses had to wait 40 long years)
4. Some serious spiritual battling was going on for weeks (Satan-was-on-me-like-white-on-rice)
5. God used that to detach me emotionally from all of it that I was broken about
6. but still very brokenhearted (if that makes sense)
7. Cried out to God (so so so tired)
8. He sent me a dream and set me free (A totally awesomely amazing, never will get over dream)

I was thinking about how God called me on this sabbatical. It was a 40 day journey that ended up being 45, but the way He called me to it, was so sweet and gentle.. He used the scriptures of me being under a broom tree for renewal and refreshing.. and I knew because of the scriptures that at the end God would speak to me and show me something, and I still cant get over the fact that He let me enter the promise land.. I thought seriously I would be stuck there for another 40 years, and never make it like Moses.. and now that I'm here, God once again prepared me for facing giants..

and I have had to face one giant already, that I have conquered so far.. but it is so worth it...My heart is so free, and I just feel His Holy oil coming into me.. God has been telling me over and over again, that the lamp must be full, but I also must be empty for the new oil.. I cant describe how amazing it is to  hear the words of God..

So I was thinking about this passage again..


Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. ¹² After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. ¹³ When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

Wind, earthquake, and fire is what Elijah faced, and through all those things God didn't speak, but it was after that, God gently whispered to Elijah.. and then He said what are you doing here?? 

After the wind, earthquake, and the fire, I finally heard that gentle whisper.. And it was amazing.  and He said, What are you doing here? Get up and Get moving..! That is all anyone needs to hear.. 

And Im so ready!!  

(1Kings19, God spoke to me about a year ago, and told me to store it up for later) ;)

Spirit and Truth

I have never felt so free.. I haven't had this many encounters with God like ever.. I have felt Gods fire this week not just on the inside but on the outside. God has given me visions, and dreams.. God has been speaking life into me.. God has been waking me up almost every night, showing me more and more.. and my body is almost used to no sleep now.. 2am turns into 3am, 3am turns into 4am.. He keeps reminding me of things I have prayed to Him about that are finally starting to come to pass. I am completely amazed and humbled at the same time.. He also is completely amazing because some of things involve other people in my life.. People I would of never ever thought I would meet.. The plans of God are so good.. He literally fits the plans of your life in with the plans of others lives, and its for a purpose, to glorify Him together.. 2.5 years ago, I met an amazing couple through another amazing couple.. A few months later after meeting this couple God awoke me up again but this was different.. I literally felt like I was awake but asleep. God showed me a vision of something He wanted me to do.. All it took was a simple invite. Fast forward 2.5 years, I have been thinking about that vision lately.. What was the purpose of it? I feel like God has been giving me the answer and what I see is "But God removed Saul and replaced him with David, a man about whom God said, ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart. He will do everything I want him to do."

For the past 2.5 years God has been preparing and working in me, for these present moments in time.. He is so good, He will reveal to you His plans when He is ready.. I think of that moment.. What if I never sent out that invite.. What if I chose not to listen to God.. What if I allowed all the distractions in my life to interrupt Gods plans for me, and for other people..What if I never connected with God in Spirit and in Truth.. Last night before I went to bed the first time,, I had yet another amazing revelation of God and His purpose in me, for Him..Which is something I have been praying and struggling with a few months ago.. What is my purpose God for you? God hasn't revealed it completely but He did reveal what He is doing in me right now.. and I am just wowed.. God can speak to you without a church building, without a specific doctrine, without all the trumpets and tassels.. "But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship Him". And when you come to the revelation of what He speaks to you in the quietness of your own house at 3am.. It shows you what kind of amazing God and Father we have..

So with that I bid you a good morning..

Its time to start camping at the cross..

God has really left a word in me.. He has said to me, its time for people to start camping at the cross.. No more of this running back and forth nonsense.


God has called us to something entirely new and different. I am so excited for it.. And He has given us words and visions of it just enough to get us started but of course we really will have to take it step by step.. but He also has called me to camp out at the cross..

Something entirely new and different means something I am going to most likely have to struggle and suffer for.. And if He is calling me to camp out at the cross.. I'm going to have to be completely surrendered... For the most part I thought I was surrendered.. But there were two days of complete surrendering.. It was most definitely different then my other days.. With this word He gave me, it felt like He was also going to start giving this to other people as well..

Something, something, something is coming up.. And He is preparing us!

All Consuming Fire...

That fire.. that burns in me...

started out so small...

but once I got a taste of His love..

It was like someone threw gasoline into me..

that created a fire that I couldn't contain..

that I cant contain..

All I want is more gasoline thrown into me..

I want His consuming fire to burn in me..

All the time...

All I want is to keep fanning my flames..

to just keep burning bigger, and bigger, and bigger..

Because His fire.. is so contagious..

Its so consuming..


With one little flicker of His love..

He can light this whole world of fire... 

45 day aftermath...

I was going to post this My restart.. But 45 day aftermath sounds much better.. 40 days which turned into 45 days.. Ha.. Not much I can say about it other then I cried alot, and prayed alot, and repented alot. Its funny because 45 days of just ughh..(horribleness) Cant even describe it..

But then.....

When God released me from that.. I had an amazing 2 days of just pure presence.. It was awemazing.. I thought I was going to have to lay down day 1.. Day 2 God just showed me something to pray for, and for me to be open too.. Which is why I was going to title in My Restart..

He is going to make me new again and again.. He is going to keep forming me into His image and into the person I am going to be for Him because of Him  and because I was made for Him, created for Him.. Heaven on earth is right here, right now.. I need to constantly be in prayer for purity and holiness, but also emptiness.. He is the only thing to fill me.. As long as I keep emptying myself out, He will keep filling me up..

He knows the desires of my heart.. I have been in this place of passionately desiring to serve Him, and be in His presence, but also bitterness because of my passion for Him I have been hindered at where I have been at.. But He released it all from me in one moment.. No more bitterness.. He has set me free..

He has also shown me that from now on, Its going to get even more difficult.. Sometimes we are so willing to get out the place we were in, we don't even know what is to come.. I love Jesus so much, I would rather face the giants then go back to Egypt.. God will give me the strength to face the unknown, even when I am weak because that is when He works best! I just sorta feel bad for my un-passionate friends.. They are going to have to be around this messy messed up conquerer!

I'm so ready to restart.. Make me new God!! Make my heart more like you God! Make me always be surrendered..

The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon

Ever have one of those moments when something clearly sticks out to you while listening.. It was a hummm.... moment.. the kind of moment that you actually make that sound.. 12 springs and 70 palm trees was all it took for me to go hummmm...

Why these 6 words? They were enough to make me hold on to them and come home to start to study scripture until 1:30 in the am...

Then Moses led the people of Israel away from the Red Sea, and they moved out into the desert of Shur. They traveled in this desert for three days without finding any water. ²³ When they came to the oasis of Marah, the water was too bitter to drink. So they called the place Marah (which means “bitter”).²⁴ Then the people complained and turned against Moses. “What are we going to drink?” they demanded. ²⁵ So Moses cried out to the Lord for help, and the Lord showed him a piece of wood. Moses threw it into the water, and this made the water good to drink. It was there at Marah that the Lord set before them the following decree as a standard to test their faithfulness to him. ²⁶ He said, “If you will listen carefully to the voice of the Lord your God and do what is right in his sight, obeying his commands and keeping all his decrees, then I will not make you suffer any of the diseases I sent on the Egyptians; for I am the Lord who heals you.” ²⁷ After leaving Marah, the Israelites traveled on to the oasis of Elim, where they found twelve springs and seventy palm trees. They camped there beside the water.


After God told them to listen to Him, follow, and do what is right in His sight.. He brought them to an oasis.. A place where there are springs and trees..This was not only a promise that they heard, but He also showed them the promise. He showed them something that was going to come in time. They saw the springs and the palm trees.. He showed them what they could be.. They could flourish, and grow.. He showed us what the 12 and 70 would look like in the future.. The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;... He is showing us what we can be like.. We can be righteous, flourishing trees..that grow like palm and cedar..


The seventy palm trees were near the water..The trees of the LORD are well watered, the cedars of Lebanon that he planted.  They were drawling their water in from the springs of water welling up.. Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, ¹⁴ but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” When Jesus sent out the seventy, He appointed them and he said  “ Heal the sick, and tell them, ‘The Kingdom of God is near you now.’
  
I love that God is always speaking. He is always trying to get me to dig deeper. He is everywhere trying to get me to hear and see.. Sometimes when I read, I just see and hear what I am literally looking at, but God is always trying to get through to me.. He is leaving us treasures to find..
  
Then the angel showed me a river with the water of life, clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb. ² It flowed down the center of the main street. On each side of the river grew a tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, with a fresh crop each month. The leaves were used for medicine to heal the nations. ³ No longer will there be a curse upon anything. 

He is always drawling you closer and closer to Him. Always wanting you to know more of Him.. He wants us to be living off His water, and growing in righteousness and in His grace.. There is so much more I got from digging into these verses, but it would take me hours to try to separately sort out what I see and hear with this.. I love that God heals.. I love that He wants to water me, I love that He wants to grow me, I love that He wants to send me out, I love His promises! <3 I love that Jesus is my Rock, He is my all and all..

How much money would you pay to save someone's soul?

I was sitting in class tonight, and I feel like God asked me this question.  How much is salvation worth? How much does salvation cost?

If you could save someones soul, what price would you pay? The value you place on money, is how you will respond to this question. What would be your answer? Would you give up everything you had to save someones soul that you never even met?

God answered this for me right after He asked me this.. He said salvation is free. Its free to us, but it cost Him everything.

God set the price of salvation. The price He set was Jesus. God loved us so much that He not only set a price that we could never pay, but He created and gave us Jesus, to pay the cost for the price of salvation for us. We didn't have to do anything.

We could work for a 1000 years, until our hands are down to the bones, and we would never be able to earn the amount that it would cost to save yourself, or someone else. The amount we would have to earn is humanly incapable. There isn't even a number you could place on it.. You would never be able to work enough to create Jesus, or what Jesus is worth. The value of His sacrifice for us is unmeasurable. How much is Jesus worth?

God created Jesus since the beginning. God loves His son much. And a voice from heaven said, "This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy. Jesus is worth millions of people souls in one sacrifice. That is how much Jesus is worth. The price for us was great.. It was a price we could never pay, but God loved Him and us so much, He created a way to bring us to Him..

How much are you worth to God? You are worth as much to God, as Jesus is worth to Him. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. That is shocking to know that God loves you so much that He created you, for you to be with Him. That the price of your soul is as much as Jesus is worth.. We had the easy part. We didn't have to sacrifice ourself in order to save yourself. Jesus did it for us. We only have to believe and have faith in Jesus, and His sacrifice for us, and for the cost of our sin.

How much is Jesus worth to you? How much are you willing to give up, or pay in order to be with Jesus? Is He worth it all?

The man replied, “I’ve obeyed all these commandments since I was young.” When Jesus heard his answer, he said, “There is still one thing you haven’t done. Sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” But when the man heard this he became very sad, for he was very rich. When Jesus saw this,he said, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the Kingdom of God! In fact, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!” 

Those who heard this said, “Then who in the world can be saved?” He replied, “What is impossible for people is possible with God.”Peter said, “We’ve left our homes to follow you.” “Yes,” Jesus replied, “and I assure you that everyone who has given up house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the Kingdom of God,  will be repaid many times over in this life, and will have eternal life in the world to come.

Are you willing to give up everything you have in order to follow Jesus? Your time, your family, your money, your possession's? Are you willing to lose your life in order to save it? Are you seeking the Kingdom of God above all else? Is everything you have seeking the Kingdom of God? Is your time, money, property, heart seeking God above all else?

How much is someones soul worth to you? To God, it was worth His only Son. Do you seek to save souls like Jesus? Are people worth anything to you? Are you willing to work, to give up your money, your time, your property for the salvation of souls? If Jesus sacrificing Himself on the cross was worth  our souls, shouldn't all we do, give, and say be worth the salvation of their souls too?

Prophecy or a better word is revelation..

 I have been thinking about this scripture for a few days..

For the essence of prophecy is to give a clear witness for Jesus. Revelation 19:10
 
I really dislike what the church has done to this word prophecy.. This word has caused so much strife because of what people think it means, or what they are taught it means. Some people think when you say you prophesy that you are "telling the future" and they deny any word spoken from someone who said they received something from God and others think everything they think is a word from God.. I'm sure churches have been destroyed over "words" that were claimed to be prophetic.. That is why the bible says to test the spirit, or discern what was being spoken especially if someone says they heard from God about something. (1John 4:1) I have found for me the meaning of what this word and action actually means. John gives us a clear and concise definition of what prophecy does mean.. 

The essence (essential or most crucial thing) of prophecy (revelation) is to give a clear (free from doubt or confusion) witness (testimony) for Jesus. So the most important thing about revelation is to give a clear account, experience, fact, evidence, testimony for Jesus.

Jesus will and does give people revelation of Himself for Himself.. People who are making the choice to place their faith in Jesus, are having a heart revelation of His love for them, and the sacrifice He made for them. Every time you tell your testimony, you are giving an account for Jesus..(shhhh!! you are prophesying) Paul writes about this in Ephesians. He says pray for the eyes of your heart to be enlightened or opened, is a better word.. This is a great prayer to pray for people who have closed hearts, or better yet, to pray that the eyes of their closed hearts become open.. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people.

That is why its not just about a head belief in Jesus. It is about a heart belief. The eyes of your heart must be opened or flooded with the love, and hope of Jesus. Once your heart is enlightened, your head will hopefully quickly follow by the power of Jesus's love! If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.


God says He will pour His spirit out on people, and that they will prophesy or they will give witness for Jesus. In the last days,' God says, 'I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your young men will see visions, and your old men will dream dreams.

I know there will be some people who read this, and get offended because of fear that has been placed on the word prophecy, but I am writing this to hopefully show wisdom about this word and what it means.. So Ill just leave it with a question...

When you pray to God for wisdom, knowledge, insight, and understanding in any area of your life, struggles, trials, decisions, path, calling, ministry, (for the past, present, and future) etc.. If you are one who doesn't believe in revelation then why pray for these things because you are believing you will hear no answer.. 

When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.

Rocky Roads..

I had a crazy but amazing weekend. I was able to sponsor someone to go on a retreat. This retreat is like nothing you will ever go on (well unless you go on it). I have been on it, and it totally amazed me. It literally breaks you down physically and spiritually, but at the end of if it you are still physically broken down, but spiritually pumped up. I was able to see a very good friend of mine come back with the peace of God, and a whole new heart for Jesus. It has been amazing to watch..

Through this, I have been able to completely see the work of God, and this is what excites me and fan my flames. I have a passion to want to see more Christians just get on fire for Jesus. Most likely because it is what happened to me. I had amazing encounters with God in 2012. The more I received Him, the more encounters I had. The more encounters I had, the more I was just seriously pumped up for Jesus. The more I was pumped, the more friends and family I lost. The more friends and family I lost, the more I learned to rely on God, the more I learned to rely on God, the more I trusted Him, the more I trusted Him, the more He trusts me, the more He trusts me, the more He entrusts me with, the more He entrusts me with, the more I am pumped up. I still am having amazing encounters with Him just in different seasons!

I was thinking about my friends encounter with God this weekend. Before she went, she was on a rocky road, and will still have to work her way out of them, but she realized she has God with her in those rocky places. He is going to smooth out her path as long as she trusts in His guidance.

The past few weeks, I have been in some rocky places too. I'm not sure if I put myself in them, or if this is just where I landed.. I have been begging God to rescue me and I can see His hand in coming to my rescue. He has given me peace this week, which has been amazing compared to last week because I was a serious hawt mess! I have been able to focus on all the amazing things of God even throughout my trials. I am starting to feel like I am getting myself back, and I completely just keep loving God more and more. I am so excited for the rest of my 40 day journey, minus a few things I have to deal with but I know through those God knows the ending of that.. And I will trust in Him. I am so ready to really begin the work He has prepared for me. :)

p.s.. Please pray for my friend.. I pray that her encounter with God will start a whole new purpose for her. That she always remembers and relys on the love of God, and has peace through her journey! And that no one blows out her newly lit flame!

Rescue me

I'm so tired God.. I just need you to rescue me.. I'm so tired of my emotions. I'm so tired of caring. I'm so tired and yet, you keep telling me that You are worth it.. And I know you are worth it. and that is it.. I know you are worth it, but what if I say, there is so much hurt and pain, that I just want to be done fighting for people, and fighting with people, and listening to their words that make me want to cringe, but I know I really don't want to be done. I love being in your presence and the want to build your kingdom.. I'm just so done with the fighting.. I just want to sit in your circle, and bathe in your light..

Jesus knows what I am feeling. I know He was tired here. He even said  "You faithless people! How long must I be with you? How long must I put up with you?. 

Jesus loved us, and He wanted to do the will of the Father, but He was sick of it too. He was ready to be done.. And who was He tired from.. Not the lost, but the found.. He was grieving because He had to put up with their faithlessness..

I'm just so tired of the religious words I hear come out of peoples mouth.. It literally drains me of anything I even had built up. There are two things I cant stand to hear out of a mouths of Christians.. One is when they talk about whether or not you have been baptized with the Holy Spirit, and the other one is saying what God can do through people, and they put a limit on His power through the Holy Spirit.. Its both ends of the scale and they both drive me nuts.. They both make me want to have a complete meltdown and throw down holy anger on people.. Why or why God! I hate how Satan has destroyed the church.. I hate how Satan uses people to make people want to crawl in a hole and never come out. I hate how he pushes people from the church and finding people who don't walk in religious ways.

 I just want to live in your love God. That is all I want to do. I just want to not care about the destruction of the church, but I know that is your bride, and I know you have called me to care.. Why else would I care if you haven't put it in me to care. Why would I grieve and be in complete sorrow if you didn't call me to care. Your love inside me I cant ignore, and I am attracted to doing what you do, feel what you feel, say what you say.. But you also gave me the ears to hear what destroys the body of Christ and God if this is what you feel, then I'm sorry.. I'm sorry we have destroyed your church.. I'm sorry the bride is the bridezilla.. but you still love us anyways.. You are always good God.. You are always kind to your bride, you are always love.. You are always gently correcting us God. You have always gently corrected me God.. God you are so much love and so full of love God..

God I just ask God that you help me. I ask that you help me always have grace and mercy for people.. God you have already told me that people will fail.. You have told me that the church will fail.. You have told me that there is nothing in this world that wont fail, except for love God.. God help me to love like you God, even when people fail me, even when I hear things that make me want to run, even when people make me want to hide and just cry God.  God I need to praise you and thank you.. I need to praise you for my sufferings.. I need to praise you because you loved me enough to call me to care, I need to praise you for giving me ears that hears what destroys the church.. God I just need your help with what to do with what I hear God. I want to run God, but only into your arms God.. I need you to help me learn how to take the bride of Christ and make her not zilla God.. I have nothing God. I have no idea what to do God but cry.. God show me how to love like you..

Seeds of Love Soaking in Grace!!

Every year around March, I decide if I'm going to try to garden that year.. Every year I want to garden, because I love to see the spouting of new life. I love to see buds and flowers come up, that will eventually turn into fruit or veggies. I love to see how one seed can produce a plant that will bear tons of fruit.. It brings me great joy to bear fruit that I planted and watered. My son loves to run out to the garden to collect his harvest, and bring it in to eat right then. You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours.

I was in worship yesterday and God was showing me something about planting seeds, and watering those seeds.. God was showing me about how a seed needs to be soaked in water in order for it to sprout. Sometimes this can takes weeks depending on the seed that is planted. The avocado seed can take up to 6 weeks to sprout, and I did some "googling" and have found info that some tree seeds can take years before they will sprout.. Sometimes some seeds need to be watered for along time!!

I was like WOW God.. These are the amazing places God takes me, that I wouldn't get to go if I didn't believe.. I was like whoa.. A seed does need to soaked in water before it will sprout, but even after it has sprouted it still needs to be watered.. Like watered for ever.. Without water it will die. If a seed was soaked in water for awhile but then the soil dried up, it would of a began a new life but then would have died off only after a short amount of time.. Or if a seed is planted in a bad place, it may of sprouted but then may have been choked out, eaten, or withered away..

But if a seed is planted in good soil, and soaked in water, it will sprout, and start to create roots.. These roots get stronger and grow the opposite way as the plant the more they are nourished. They deepen in the soil, and they can hold the plant firmly in the ground when storms and bad weather comes through. The plant will start to grow up and out of the soil, and start to form branches, and leaves, then it will bud flowers, and eventually bear fruit. But this too will only happen if it continually gets watered..

Then God was showing me about the seeds and water.. Not every seed planted is a good seed. 
Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.

There are many seeds, but there are only 3 perfect seeds that will never fail. Faith, Hope, and Love.. But just as scripture says, God showed me the one that is most important. The seed of love.. That is the one that stood out. You can preach the word until you are blue in the face, but if you do it without love.. You sound like Charlie Browns teacher,, wah wah wah, woh, and most likely are doing more damage than good.You sound like nothing. This might be why some seeds never sprout. They were planted without love. You can even water these seeds, and they still wont sprout because there is nothing inside.

Then God showed me how to water. He showed me this from John..One of the soldiers, however, pierced his side with a spear, and immediately blood and water flowed out. The pouring out of Jesus blood, and His water.. When you pour into someone you are watering them. The more you water the more that seed will soak. Once its sprouted, the more you give that plant nourishment, so it can grow and become strong. There are only 2 liquids you can water from.. That is from Jesus's living water, and from the liquid that gives life, His blood.. You might say well I'm not sure how you can water someone with these two things, but the Holy Spirit showed me that since these two things came out of Jesus heart when He was pierced, that when you water, you get these two liquids from inside your heart.. Which is liquid love, or waters of grace!! You don't just want to come sprinkle water on these seeds, but you want to pour it out on them.. Just a continuous flow on them, just like God gives to us.. Jesus poured these out on us, and so did God..Then, after doing all those things, I will pour out my Spirit upon all people.

When you pour out on these seeds, it gives life to the seed. The seed soaks up that life giving blood and water, and the seed turns from something dead into something alive. It goes from a dead seed into a entirely new living breathing creature.. For a little while someone might need to keep watering that plant, but when it starts to get really rooted, and learns how to stay in the water and blood, it will continue to grow, becoming deeper rooted in God. It will become mature and start to bear fruit.. 

God brought me back to baptism and communion with this.. These two things represent the same things, the blood and the water of Jesus.. You are cleansed with the water, but the blood is what is on the inside doing the cleaning..

So after all of this, the reason why I am writing is because I was thinking about how in March when I think about wanting to garden, sometimes I get lazy, and I think about how much work it is to garden. I have to get the weeds, out, and turn up the soil, and it just takes awhile to get it even prepped to plant anything. Planting seeds is hard work.. Its laborious, but its worth it..The first thing I ever planted and grew, I wanted to cry. I was so excited, and that is how we should be.. We should always know that bearing the seed for sowing may cause weeping, and tears, but you will come home with a harvest that overflows and shouts of joy. You will get to eat your fruit of all you hard work..


Those who sow in tears
    shall reap with shouts of joy! 
 He who goes out weeping,
    bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy,
    bringing his sheaves with him.

AbbaAwesomeNess!

There is something about the revelation of God's love that out beats, out wins any of the other revelations God has given me even though all of it is amazing..

It takes you to this whole new understanding of who God is.. It takes you to the place where you cry out Abba! You understand so much more of how faithful He is to those who seek Him.. To those who love Him. You understand how He created you..How He spent time creating you, and forming you. I can only describe it the way He showed me.. He is the potter and we are the clay.. He spent time at the wheel with every single one of us. He formed us with His love, and He knows exactly how many hairs we have, since He put them there. He knows each one of us. But it gets deeper.. Then He places you on a pedestal watching us while His eyes gaze upon us with such great love. He created us out of love and with love.. So in return He is waiting for us to come to Him because we love Him too. He places that love He gave to you, and when you return it, its like He is putting you back in His love..

Its just Abbaawesomeness! If you haven't had a revelation of Gods love, I suggest you pray for one. It will leave you in tears, and for a whole new thankfulness for your Father.

Tip of My Toes/I Have Found My Joy (Spontaneous) - Steffany Frizzell Gre...

All I need..

You set me free constantly
All that I am, I place into your hands
You have taken me from highs to lows
But all that time you never lift your grace
And you always show me your Face
I have wandered around this wilderness for along time
But finally you set me free
Free from the bondage of being thirsty
Free from the bondage of lifelessness
Free from the bondage of hunger
Free from seeking places that are dry and dead

You break bondage where water flows
You break bondage with the beauty of Jesus’s face
You break bondage with perfect love
You break bondage with colors of your paradise
You break bondage with your breath and Word
You break bondage with your consuming fire

Oh God, how it hurts to be break the bondage
Oh God, I wish it happened in seconds
But your timing is perfect
And you make things work for Your Glory
Oh God, you are so worth it
You are so worth the wandering
You are so worth years of being
Hungry
Thirsty
Lost
Dead
And Alone

God you set me free because all I need is You..

A liquid offering of love on the just and the unjust!

I was in bed last night praying for a friend that needs healing, and I was reminded again of what God showed me a few weeks ago about His grace, mercy, and forgiveness.  What He showed me on how much He loves us. His love cant be measured but God can give you the power to understand His love. I have been asking for that in my prayers. After God showed me the depths of His love, I have been asking for Him to continue to pour it on me, so that I can pour it on others. The way God loves is very different than the way I love, and I want His love and power because that wont fail.

And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.


So last night God showed me another depth of His love.. God rains on the just and the unjust.


For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike

Sometimes we wonder why do good things happen to bad people, and why do bad things happen to good people. The thing we forget to say is that good things happen to good people and that bad things do happen to bad people too. We also forget that bad people have free will to do whatever they want. There is nothing holding them accountable, and they have deceit and wickedness inside their hearts. The only thing that can cleanse that wickedness out is the blood and love of Jesus.

As I was praying I could see in my spirit, rain coming down, and it wasn't natural rain, it was the supernatural rain of God that comes down on the just and the unjust over the whole earth. God pours His Grace and Mercy on both. It isn't just on Christians. God loves His creation so much that He pours it on all of us. His grace and mercy hits us just like the natural rain does. Natural rain can leave you drenched and soaked, so how much more does supernatural rain affect us?

And then God showed me the difference in how His grace and Mercy rain has on a person who has true faith in Jesus, and one that doesn't. When I was a little kid I would play in the rain, especially in Arizona where it rarely ever rained. We would go outside and literally be soaking wet on the outside,  but then we would look to the sky and open our mouths and drink the rain. This is the difference. The pouring out of grace and mercy from God is Jesus's liquid sacrifice on the cross. His blood was poured out as a living sacrifice. Jesus blood is alive and active. It cleanses the deepest part of our souls and can clean out the heart. It can clean out the wickedness from a person.. But that person has to make an active decision in opening their mouth to drink the rain from Jesus. When they do this they are drinking forgiveness.The difference is that when we take of this cup, we are drinking Gods forgiveness. This is what makes us righteous and in the eyes of God, sinless. This transforms a person entire being. It comes into the body and everything dead starts to come alive. It is that life giving blood that gives you an entirely new heart. It transforms your mind, and soul. It literally cleans out the things that defile you that are in your heart.

But anyone who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise that person at the last day.

This is why communion is so important. Obviously it isn't literally Jesus's blood, but we are confessing that we are drinking the sacrifice that Jesus poured out on the cross for us. We are drinking forgiveness.

After last night, I have a whole new understanding on communion and how much God loves all of His creation. He loves us so much He sends showers of grace, mercy, and forgiveness down to us from heaven.  I'm going to walk around with my no umbrella and my mouth open from now on in the natural rain. :)