Its not about being fake.. Its about doing everything without complaining..

Its not about being fake.. Its about doing everything without complaining.. 

And right now I'm going to complain about the complainers.. ;)

This a word for my brothers and sisters, and myself even.. I noticed alot, that there are many who I see constantly post about the things wrong in this world.. About the things we all could really complain about, and don't agree with.. This isn't about hiding the things going on in the world, instead this is a call to take that wasted energy you use on complaining and put it into something that will actually matter.. Talk is cheap, Action is better..

Instead of complaining about the things that are wrong in the world, instead rejoice and proclaim Jesus's glorious name and message... 

I was thinking about our world and all the seeds that Satan plants..

²⁴ Here is another story Jesus told: “The Kingdom of Heaven is like a farmer who planted good seed in his field. ²⁵ But that night as the workers slept, his enemy came and planted weeds among the wheat, then slipped away. ²⁶ When the crop began to grow and produce grain, the weeds also grew.

 Satan plants enough bad seeds in the world, we shouldn't keep adding to it.. The tongue can bring death or life;those who love to talk will reap the consequences.

You reap what you sow... Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. ⁵ For we are each responsible for our own conduct.

So how many bad seeds have you planted by complaining and speaking death over circumstances, and situations you have no control over that are happening in this world? You are just helping Satan do his work, and you don't even realize it.. 

Instead do Jesus's business like usual!! That means even though you see/hear all these bad, sinful,  and crazy things happening.. DON'T FOCUS ON THAT.. Instead do Jesus's business like normal.. (Don't misunderstand me).. I am not saying that if you see or hear something that you can actually help or be productive in, then of course do it.. I'm talking about all my complainers who love to just focus on all the bad things.. Who constantly post about all the bad things..Who are in the church and all you see is them complain about the things they see wrong.. Who I never hear speak a word of Jesus and His awesomeness who I know are Christians.. Yea, those people!

¹⁴ Do everything without complaining and arguing, ¹⁵ so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. ¹⁶ Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ’s return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless.

The lonely

I want to speak to the lonely because I sometimes feel as though I am one of them.. I grew up as a lonely child.. Its really strange for me to say that since I have five siblings.. But sometimes when you are a child of many you are just as lonely as an only child.. I have been thinking about these little funks I get into and I am wondering if it stems back from being an lonely child.. Its very weird because I am not really an introvert. I actually love being an extrovert, but I am an internal extrovert. I find myself feeling lonely even though I am surrounded by many people. I take these moments to just reach inside internally and pinpoint these feelings I have that I cant quite articulate.. Even now I cant quite explain why I find myself to feel lonely. I sometimes look at people and they all seem to just fit into these groups of people who think alike, dress alike, and act alike.. and I don't fit.. I find myself thinking maybe that is because I grew up not fitting in with anyone.. I wasn't part of any particular group during childhood and even my youth years. I did have one best friend who I still have today, but she wasn't in school with me..

Today I came home from church.. It was amazing, and the people are amazing.. but I still found myself in this odd place of loneliness.. and I talk to God and know that He is the only one true friend I have.. He knows me, and I fit in His group.. He speaks to my lonely heart and constantly reminds me that I am not lonely.. He lives inside me, and we are one.. Its my hope and strength of being okay feeling alone at those times because if its just God and I, then that is all I really need. I can conquer and claim those feelings and cast them aside..

God always calls me closer when I feel lonely.. He is always saying draw nearer to me.. When He does that, and I listen.. Those lonely feelings disappear.. He is always showing me His perfect love towards me, that gets me out my little funks.. The lonely just want to be loved and accepted.. And God wants to love the lonely and He accepts us before we even accept Him..

Last night I was at a praise alive worship gathering and there was a word given out, and I just laughed because He is speaking to His people.. Then God showed me something again while in worship.. Focus, Focus, Focus.. I had an insanely busy week, and I missed two days of just really being in His word, and God said to me focus.. I had time to get on all my favorite websites throughout those busy days, but I didn't stop and sit down and just focus..  Focus on His word, Focus on His love, Focus on His heart, Focus on His healing refuge..

He needs to be our focus, and really consume our thoughts because just two simple days without Him had me feeling lonely today.. That is all it takes.. These are the distractions in the world to keep you away from your healing, and from seeking Him and being underneath His wings.. My favorite places our those secret places that God takes me. I desire them, and they consume me.. He takes me into those places when I am fully devoted to Him, fully focused on Him..

Last night I was thinking about those two days that I was distracted and I prayed for something I actually didn't really want to pray for.. Broken places bring me to my knees.. I want to be broken enough where I am always desiring God, and being under His wing, but not so broken where I am broken hearted. I know those places take discipline, and control, and this would be my only prayer of control is to make me OCD in those areas.. To always be living in you, not a step to right or a step to the left.. But always in your shadows..

 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.. Proverbs 3:6

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77cwl530Ngg&list=RDsY0Vz8fvIhE&index=18#

And after the fire came a gentle whisper!!

I think I'm in a good place to finally write this out now.. I have been in such a place of joy and freedom.. It is really hard to describe, but if any of you have ever had a breakthrough you understand that release..

Tonight I read about this word Ba'al-Perazim.. And after I looked it up, I'm like hahaha.. Wow because this was used in Samuel and Chronicles after David beat Goliath..

Baal-perazim means Lord of breaking through or  Baal-perazim means lord of bursting through..

And throughout my past few months God has been using David, and Elijah to speak to me through.. But tonight I was thinking about the schedule of events that took place, and I think because I was in such a place of broken-ness I had to take God presence day-by-day and soak it in without even putting together how awesome He is and how He makes it all fit together.. 

1. Totally broken down crying out to God 
2. Called me to a 40 day sabbatical
3. God spoke to me through a song and Moses about waiting because He is worth it.. (Moses had to wait 40 long years)
4. Some serious spiritual battling was going on for weeks (Satan-was-on-me-like-white-on-rice)
5. God used that to detach me emotionally from all of it that I was broken about
6. but still very brokenhearted (if that makes sense)
7. Cried out to God (so so so tired)
8. He sent me a dream and set me free (A totally awesomely amazing, never will get over dream)

I was thinking about how God called me on this sabbatical. It was a 40 day journey that ended up being 45, but the way He called me to it, was so sweet and gentle.. He used the scriptures of me being under a broom tree for renewal and refreshing.. and I knew because of the scriptures that at the end God would speak to me and show me something, and I still cant get over the fact that He let me enter the promise land.. I thought seriously I would be stuck there for another 40 years, and never make it like Moses.. and now that I'm here, God once again prepared me for facing giants..

and I have had to face one giant already, that I have conquered so far.. but it is so worth it...My heart is so free, and I just feel His Holy oil coming into me.. God has been telling me over and over again, that the lamp must be full, but I also must be empty for the new oil.. I cant describe how amazing it is to  hear the words of God..

So I was thinking about this passage again..


Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. ¹² After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. ¹³ When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

Wind, earthquake, and fire is what Elijah faced, and through all those things God didn't speak, but it was after that, God gently whispered to Elijah.. and then He said what are you doing here?? 

After the wind, earthquake, and the fire, I finally heard that gentle whisper.. And it was amazing.  and He said, What are you doing here? Get up and Get moving..! That is all anyone needs to hear.. 

And Im so ready!!  

(1Kings19, God spoke to me about a year ago, and told me to store it up for later) ;)

Spirit and Truth

I have never felt so free.. I haven't had this many encounters with God like ever.. I have felt Gods fire this week not just on the inside but on the outside. God has given me visions, and dreams.. God has been speaking life into me.. God has been waking me up almost every night, showing me more and more.. and my body is almost used to no sleep now.. 2am turns into 3am, 3am turns into 4am.. He keeps reminding me of things I have prayed to Him about that are finally starting to come to pass. I am completely amazed and humbled at the same time.. He also is completely amazing because some of things involve other people in my life.. People I would of never ever thought I would meet.. The plans of God are so good.. He literally fits the plans of your life in with the plans of others lives, and its for a purpose, to glorify Him together.. 2.5 years ago, I met an amazing couple through another amazing couple.. A few months later after meeting this couple God awoke me up again but this was different.. I literally felt like I was awake but asleep. God showed me a vision of something He wanted me to do.. All it took was a simple invite. Fast forward 2.5 years, I have been thinking about that vision lately.. What was the purpose of it? I feel like God has been giving me the answer and what I see is "But God removed Saul and replaced him with David, a man about whom God said, ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart. He will do everything I want him to do."

For the past 2.5 years God has been preparing and working in me, for these present moments in time.. He is so good, He will reveal to you His plans when He is ready.. I think of that moment.. What if I never sent out that invite.. What if I chose not to listen to God.. What if I allowed all the distractions in my life to interrupt Gods plans for me, and for other people..What if I never connected with God in Spirit and in Truth.. Last night before I went to bed the first time,, I had yet another amazing revelation of God and His purpose in me, for Him..Which is something I have been praying and struggling with a few months ago.. What is my purpose God for you? God hasn't revealed it completely but He did reveal what He is doing in me right now.. and I am just wowed.. God can speak to you without a church building, without a specific doctrine, without all the trumpets and tassels.. "But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship Him". And when you come to the revelation of what He speaks to you in the quietness of your own house at 3am.. It shows you what kind of amazing God and Father we have..

So with that I bid you a good morning..

Its time to start camping at the cross..

God has really left a word in me.. He has said to me, its time for people to start camping at the cross.. No more of this running back and forth nonsense.


God has called us to something entirely new and different. I am so excited for it.. And He has given us words and visions of it just enough to get us started but of course we really will have to take it step by step.. but He also has called me to camp out at the cross..

Something entirely new and different means something I am going to most likely have to struggle and suffer for.. And if He is calling me to camp out at the cross.. I'm going to have to be completely surrendered... For the most part I thought I was surrendered.. But there were two days of complete surrendering.. It was most definitely different then my other days.. With this word He gave me, it felt like He was also going to start giving this to other people as well..

Something, something, something is coming up.. And He is preparing us!

All Consuming Fire...

That fire.. that burns in me...

started out so small...

but once I got a taste of His love..

It was like someone threw gasoline into me..

that created a fire that I couldn't contain..

that I cant contain..

All I want is more gasoline thrown into me..

I want His consuming fire to burn in me..

All the time...

All I want is to keep fanning my flames..

to just keep burning bigger, and bigger, and bigger..

Because His fire.. is so contagious..

Its so consuming..


With one little flicker of His love..

He can light this whole world of fire... 

45 day aftermath...

I was going to post this My restart.. But 45 day aftermath sounds much better.. 40 days which turned into 45 days.. Ha.. Not much I can say about it other then I cried alot, and prayed alot, and repented alot. Its funny because 45 days of just ughh..(horribleness) Cant even describe it..

But then.....

When God released me from that.. I had an amazing 2 days of just pure presence.. It was awemazing.. I thought I was going to have to lay down day 1.. Day 2 God just showed me something to pray for, and for me to be open too.. Which is why I was going to title in My Restart..

He is going to make me new again and again.. He is going to keep forming me into His image and into the person I am going to be for Him because of Him  and because I was made for Him, created for Him.. Heaven on earth is right here, right now.. I need to constantly be in prayer for purity and holiness, but also emptiness.. He is the only thing to fill me.. As long as I keep emptying myself out, He will keep filling me up..

He knows the desires of my heart.. I have been in this place of passionately desiring to serve Him, and be in His presence, but also bitterness because of my passion for Him I have been hindered at where I have been at.. But He released it all from me in one moment.. No more bitterness.. He has set me free..

He has also shown me that from now on, Its going to get even more difficult.. Sometimes we are so willing to get out the place we were in, we don't even know what is to come.. I love Jesus so much, I would rather face the giants then go back to Egypt.. God will give me the strength to face the unknown, even when I am weak because that is when He works best! I just sorta feel bad for my un-passionate friends.. They are going to have to be around this messy messed up conquerer!

I'm so ready to restart.. Make me new God!! Make my heart more like you God! Make me always be surrendered..