I was going to post this My restart.. But 45 day aftermath sounds much better.. 40 days which turned into 45 days.. Ha.. Not much I can say about it other then I cried alot, and prayed alot, and repented alot. Its funny because 45 days of just ughh..(horribleness) Cant even describe it..
But then.....
When God released me from that.. I had an amazing 2 days of just pure presence.. It was awemazing.. I thought I was going to have to lay down day 1.. Day 2 God just showed me something to pray for, and for me to be open too.. Which is why I was going to title in My Restart..
He is going to make me new again and again.. He is going to keep forming me into His image and into the person I am going to be for Him because of Him and because I was made for Him, created for Him.. Heaven on earth is right here, right now.. I need to constantly be in prayer for purity and holiness, but also emptiness.. He is the only thing to fill me.. As long as I keep emptying myself out, He will keep filling me up..
He knows the desires of my heart.. I have been in this place of passionately desiring to serve Him, and be in His presence, but also bitterness because of my passion for Him I have been hindered at where I have been at.. But He released it all from me in one moment.. No more bitterness.. He has set me free..
He has also shown me that from now on, Its going to get even more difficult.. Sometimes we are so willing to get out the place we were in, we don't even know what is to come.. I love Jesus so much, I would rather face the giants then go back to Egypt.. God will give me the strength to face the unknown, even when I am weak because that is when He works best! I just sorta feel bad for my un-passionate friends.. They are going to have to be around this messy messed up conquerer!
I'm so ready to restart.. Make me new God!! Make my heart more like you God! Make me always be surrendered..
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