Love

Feelings of inadequacy are lies...

Some of my deepest prayers is for my heart to be transformed into God's heart.. I desire for my heart to be just like Jesus's heart. Some of my deepest prayers are also for God to continue to reveal Himself to me through worship, prayers, and scripture.. The reason why is because I have seen, felt, and heard God's heart.. I have seen, felt, and heard Jesus's heart. It is seriously humbling.. God's love is something I wont fully understand, but He does reveal Himself to me constantly of His love and Grace. Through scripture Jesus is always talking about the Heart. He is always talking about Love. He says that if you want to prove yourself to the world that you are disciple of Him, then to love each other.. If you dont have love, you have nothing.

This hit me the other day.. I have been feeling inadequate.. I have been feeling like I am missing something, and that because I have "missed" it then there is something wrong with me, or I am doing something wrong. I have been feeling like I am blocking God's flow into me, to then to flow out of me..and then I start to question, and wonder.. What is wrong with you Lauren? I started to question if God loves me as much as someone else? This might be a shock, but this is the first time I have felt unworthy of God's love.. Yes, I know I am unworthy, but Jesus gave me the title of "child of God", and because Jesus is worthy, then I am worthy. So for me to feel unworthy after years of feeling worthy really has hit my heart, and I started to buy into Satan's lies..

But there is one thing that I know that has been shown to me through my walk with Christ, and that I will hold onto is that God loves me how I am, even if I feel like I am doing something wrong.. The lies of Satan can be powerful.. But my God is more powerful.. I prove myself by love, not by gift or effort.

God has shown me before in worship how He created me from Himself.. Something I remember back to and have cried over.. That God loved Me so much, that He not only created me from a part of Himself, but because He loved me that much, He sent a Shepherd to save a dumb ole sheep. Who does that? Who sends out a worthy Son, to save an unworthy animal? God does! That is how much God loves me, and you.. He sent out something so perfect to save something so imperfect. He didn't want to live without His imperfect sheep, that He had to figure out a way to save them and make them perfect.. Through this God really has shown me how much He loves His creation, all of it, not just the called but the uncalled too. He is heartbroken over His lost sheep.. This led to me realizing how much Jesus loves God, and us.. He loved His Father so much He was willing to lay down His life for Gods creation, so that one day they are and will be united. Jesus was willing to lay down His perfect life for imperfect animal, so that He can give me the title "child of God". There is nothing that can top that type of love.. I would never give my life up for an animal, so to realize this is what Jesus did, it should humble you completely..

So after all of this, God reminded me of the verse..  

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

Both on earth and in Heaven these are the things that will last forever.. The lies that Satan has been feeding me are nothing but lies.. And that I am on the right track.. I will continue to pursue love and revelation from God because that is what He says to do.. I am different, and I wont be able to minister to the world in the same ways as other people, I wont have the same gifts as other but that doesn't mean there is something wrong with me, it just means what it means. I am different but I have the same spirit, and receive the same love from God. It also shows me that where God is leading me, is somewhere that I will continue to not know, until I get there.. That makes me feel God's love.

I would rather have love flow out of me, then any other gift because that is the only thing that will last. Love, Hope, and Faith will not be shaken.. All the other gifts, talents, and efforts will be shaken and gone.

If you feel inadequent or unworthy, I want you to realize that you are loved by God. When God looks at you, He is in love! You are that beautiful ballerina, in a box that He carries around in His heart. God is memorized at watching you dance, and spin, and seeing the love flow out of you.. <3